Spoiled to Entitled

You’ve heard the statement, “the youngest is always the most spoiled,” right? Of course you have, everyone says that. And, well, I’m the youngest. I’m also pretty confident when I say I did get my fair share of spoiling. But to be fair, I was the last one in the house for four years! Who else were they gonna spend the money on?!

I just wanna start this blog by saying that my parents are pretty amazing. Spoiled or not, they did everything they could to get me to the things I wanted to accomplish even if it meant going into some credit card debt or spending that month’s whole paycheck on me, they did it. They’re those parents that sacrificed whatever it took to make sure their kids were happy. They still are that way. They are also people who instilled in me the value of hard work and earning what you receive. Growing up on a farm there was always work to be done, chores on a list with my name on them. But back when I did live at home, I took on some pretty expensive hobbies.

In high school I played sports and was a cheerleader that had some hefty athletic fees and uniform fees. I rodeoed and was a rodeo queen, and those two put together had enormous entry fees plus the outfits for queening were sometimes over $1,000. I was lucky enough to make it to a national queen contest and my wardrobe alone, for just one week, was over $4,000, add that to the entry fees and the travel expenses you’re into this rodeo biz for a pretty penny.

After rodeo though, I took up pageantry. A land where the entry fee alone is over $1,000. I was fortunate enough to make it to two national pageants, including Miss Teen USA and Miss USA, both not so fortunate for my parent’s wallets. When I was Miss Idaho USA I flew all over the country. It was a pretty amazing year and I met my best friends along the way, but only some of those flights were sponsored, others came from credit cards. My own and my parents.

Through all of my endeavors, however, my parents never complained. They always supported me and helped me achieve the goals I had in place for myself. Spoiled? Blessed with the best? You call it what you’d like, but I generally choose the latter.

Since then, I have noticed in my marriage, that I silently expect to receive the things I want from my husband. I hardly even notice I am doing it until after the fact. Even though I feel so strongly about having a firm budget and finding our way financially hand in hand, I still have to tell myself at times to calm it down on the wish list.

Here’s an example: we are currently in the process of redoing/finishing our little office space in our home. I repainted the walls and got some things hung up, and to finish it off I want to place a comfy chair in the corner that I just “KNOW” will be my place of inspiration, and a cute little bench by the door.  I mentioned these things to my husband with almost a surety that they were things I was just going to purchase. I found some at a cheaper price, showed them to him, and was waiting for the “go ahead.” He then asked if it was all necessary and I obviously said yes… (The look he gave me told me he thought otherwise.)

When he tells me to rethink things a little, 90% of the time I know he’s right and I take a minute to reprioritize some things. But there is that 10% of the time where my baby-of-the-family-mentality rises up and I expect him to do whatever he can to make it happen.

I also get a little pouty when my travel plans get put on the back burner or stroked out completely. Traveling is one of those things in this life I cannot get enough of, but financially, it doesn’t always work out the way I want it to and my excitement gets a liiiittle out of hand. I tend to expect my husband to be on the same wavelength as me with his travel goals, but with our financial state on his forefront, traveling takes a backseat unless it is planned and thought out. (As it should.)

Entitlement is something we see in society everyday, expecting things to be done for a very little price or time spent and I try my guts out to not act/be that way. Things in this life take hard work to attain no matter what it is and I will definitely be that mom that makes her daughter clean the toilet to earn her keep. But being the baby of my family, a family of parents and three siblings who at some point in my life have ALL given me a free roof over my head and took care of me when I thought I couldn’t take care of myself, have lead me to have this mindset that I sometimes have to correct. As we go down our financial path, my list of wants and times of brattyness have gotten smaller and less as I reevaluate and prioritize my life. (Fortunately for my husband.)

I was and AM very blessed to have the parents and husband that I do. They support and love me in all my ups, downs, and all arounds in life. My only hope is to one day give more back to them then they have ever given to me. They deserve it. As for me? Being spoiled will probably always be in my blood, but I’m learning to suppress it. For my sake and my family’s. First step is acceptance, right?

Thanks for being here,


The Spackman’s

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